I Must learn Patience

Well its 4:08am and I have tossed and turned since around midnight. I have so much on my mind. I went to my appt. Wed afternoon. First of all my appt. was for 3:30p but I didn't get into the room till 5p then waited for doc to come in which was around 5:30p. I should have known then that things would not go as I had hoped. The doc gave me all my test results. He said everything looked wonderful except for my EKG came back with abnormalities, and my chest xray showed an enlarged heart. Now he said not to panic, because for one the enlarged heart is a normal thing because of my size. And that would go down once I loose the weight I need to. But I needed to see a cardiologist to get a note from him to say it was ok to have surgery. He said the anethesiologist would not touch me without one. He also said that 99% of the time its nothing to worry about. Sometimes these tests just come out this way. So better be safe then sorry. Now I know this is for the best, and I want to make sure everything that needs to be done will be done. But...I am not a patient person. I try to be, but sometimes when I want something really bad I get frustrated. Now I need to call a cardiologist today and hopefully I can get in really soon. I am going to beg, really beg to get in as soon as possible. I need to get this surgery done so I can start to lose weight so I can feel better. Which is sort of a catch-22 as it is. I have bad knees so it makes it hard for me to exercise, if I have this surgery I will lose weight and be able to exercise which would help my knees. I can't have this surgery without the ok from a cardiologiest because of the abnormal test which is more than likely due to my weight because I can't exercise and I know I have a strain on my heart. AHHHHH

I know I am probably stressing more than I need to, which is why I have been tossing and turning. I know I should just relax and things will happen when they need to. But there is that patience thing again. Oh well not much I can do but hurry up and wait. Actually by me putting off the surgery even for another week or so will work out best for all anyway as far as my daughter being here to help me. So I should just look at it that way. And by putting it off another week or so I will be able to eat my mothers delicious Easter dinner. So Patience Sue, Patience.