Pondering

This has been an interesting day so far. Not sure what to think of it all. And not sure how this post will go. Might just be a hodge podge of things and emotions.

This morning I took my mother to her doctor appt for her last checkup from when she had a hysterectomy and they found cancer cells in her uterus. This has been a 3yr journey. In the beginning after she had surgery the doctor wanted her to start some treatments in the off chance any of the cancer cells got left behind. She opted not to do the treatments. The doctor tried to convince my sister and I to talk her into these treatments "just in case" Well anyone knowing my mother, you can not talk her into something she is determined not to do. She didn't want all the other "stuff" that comes with those treatments for a "just in case" Well after going for blood work, xrays, etc almost once a month over the last 3yrs, her appt today was her last one. Nothing ever showed up in any of the tests she has had over these years. Which is a good thing and I am very happy that it turned out this way. All the cancer cells were contained in the uterus and when they removed it nothing got out.

Now the flip side of this coin is when we got to the doctors office, my aunt was just getting there. She just got out of Rush Hospital in Chicago on Monday for an infection and fever they could not control. She does have cancer and has fought this for many years now. Not sure of how many years it has been, but I think its been at least 6. She looked really worn out, and oh so frail. My uncle looked totally spent. I can't even imagine. I hugged her and told her I loved her. (this aunt is my fathers only surviving sister along with two other brothers) She got called back to get her blood work and then to see doctor for some treatment. My mother and I had been sitting there maybe 30 min after they went back and my uncle came out looking worse then when he came in. He came to my mother and just broke down. He said the doctor only gives my aunt 2-3 months left. I lost it. I knew this day would come, but still something hard to prepare and comprehend.

I am happy my mother never ended up having cancer and she is now done with all this testing but on the other hand here I am sad about my aunt. All in one short morning you get the good and the bad in all one lump sum. My emotions are all over the place. I continue to keep my aunt and her family in my prayers. And I also try to in my mind process all this. I know I need to put my "big girl panties on" and do what I can, but sometimes I wish I didn't have to be an adult.

Life sure does give you twists and turns in a moments notice that is for sure. In the picture above my mother Betty is in the middle and my Aunt Arlene is to the right (white sweater) and that's her husband, Oren behind her. The other couple is my Uncle Wayne and Aunt Shirley. I am very glad I had the opportunity this summer to have this picture taken. I honestly don't think there will be another time for this to happen.