20 days out

Its been 20 days today since I had my surgery. I am feeling pretty good but still slow going at times. I am not a patient person, so I keep thinking I should be further along then I am. But then I actually stop and think a minute and go wait, it hasn't been that long since I had surgery. And actually I had 2 surgeries in one, so I am healing from 2 seperate things. Both of which have troubles of their own. I am not in any pain anymore which is a wonderful relief. I am very slow at eating. It seems to take forever, which is a good thing. I am eating pureed foods right now. I am not eating as much as I am suppose to because I just can't. A month ago I would never have imagined that eating like 1/2 c of mashed potatoes would take 45 min to finish. Or making a scrambled egg using only 1 egg and actually being full. Sometimes its hard to wrap my mind around it all. But for ever how it works, it works for me. Sure is going to save on the grocery bill that is for sure. A friend of mine called the other day and was asking me how things were going and I told her. She laughed at the amount of food I eat and how long it takes. And then said I sure would be a cheap date. I lauged at that and actually that is a true statement. Each day when I put clothes on, it fits a little differently. Things that once were tight are now loose. My stomach is still a little swollen, which I am sure takes time, but it is down from what it was. People ask me if I feel like I have lost weight and actually I don't really. I know I have because I can tell by the number on the scale, and I can tell by the way my clothes fit, but I probably won't be able to really tell until I actually go out and buy something new in a much smaller size. This will all take time, and I have to realistically give myself that time. I need to just let nature takes its course and quit trying to put things on my time schedule intead of what will come when it needs to. It will all be worth it in the end.

I am on my WAY!!!

I went to my first doctor appt after having this surgery. I am doing great. I had my staples, all 35 of them removed and my drain pulled out. I feel so much better just having those things gone. I also was weighed and I have lost 19lbs since I left the hospital on May 14th. I have lost a total of 27lbs since I started my liquid diet before my surgery. So I am happy with that. I am retaining water, which is normal for me, and I still lost weight. The more weight I lose the better it will get for me as far as retaining water. Hopefully I will be able to get off these water pills. My B/P is great, right where it should be. And hopefully in the near future I will be able to get off those meds as well. I looked at myself in the mirror yesterday after I took my shower and I was combing my hair. And I really had to take another look because my face looked so thin and long. I asked my daughter if I was seeing things and she said NO, and that she had noticed this also. SO...things are on there way to a whole new me. I don't feel like I have lost anything because I still feel so bloated, but I know I have by the way my clothes fit or rather don't fit. I kept pulling up my pants all day, and kept stepping on the back of them as I walked. Looks like my sewing machine will get a workout soon.

I wish you could see the smile on my face. I am happy. I know its not a huge jump, but for me its a major accomplishment. I am looking forward to the next step.

Surgery update

Hello everyone, since I am writing its obvious I made it through my surgery. I have to be honest if someone would have told me the intense pain I would be in, I am not sure I would have had this done. But of course I also had my gall bladder removed and so I had double the pain. And boy was there pain. But I made it through it. I have about a 10in scare running down my stomach from below my breasts almost to my belly button. I am stapled shut, I still have a drain attached to me, which will be removed next tues. One was removed this morning in the hospital. That was something having that removed. I am bruised everywhere I had an IV in or where they took blood. I know all this will heal. Its just going to take time. I knew I wouldn't be eating much but I never realized just how little that is. A sample meal was 4oz of Tea, 4oz broth and 1/2 c sugar free jello. I was lucky to eat half of what I got and that took me close to an hour.

I am glad that, that part is over. Now I can get on with the rest of my life. I need to heal, and move around. It was nice today to be home and then the ride home wore me out, and I took a nap in my own bed. Oh that felt so good. I can only lay on my back for the moment which will suck, but it will get better. I am all swollen from all the IV fluids I was given, and the gas that is still in my stomach from the anethesia. I still have trouble getting up and down from the chair, bed, that sort of thing. But time heals. I will keep things updated as they happen.

Less than 24hrs to go

Well as I sit here making my list for what I need to remember to take with me to the hospital, it hits me that in less then 24hrs I will have had my surgery. My emotions are all over the place. I am excited, I am scared, I am indifferent, I am wondering if I am crazy for doing this and a hundred more I won't bore anyone with. But I do know that I am doing the right thing. I have tried over the years so many things to lose weight but nothing seems to work, or does work but not for very long. I need to do this so that I can live to see my kids and grandkids grow up. I know its not going to be an easy road for awhile. And of course every commercial on tv these last few days has had food items that I love to eat. Right now I could really go for a big juicy steak, a plate of french fries and a large shake. I won't but doesn't stop me from wanting it. I have been doing very well on my liquid diet these last few weeks. I have not eaten anything I was not suppose to, which tells me that I know I will be able to follow what lies ahead. I know there are going to be good and bad days, but I know in the end it will all be worth it. I have very good support between my family and friends. And I know I am going to need them in the days ahead.

I still can not envision myself as a smaller adult. I won't say skinny because I know that won't be the case. But I will be at a healthy weight for me. I will be able to go into a store and actually buy things right off the rack instead of ordering from a catalog and hoping that they have big enough sizes and that things will fit ok. I have already sort of picked out the first outfit I want when I lose enough weight. I am looking forward to actually wearing capri's, jeans, and maybe even shorts. Who knows what will be in store for me. But I am looking forward to seeing.

I know this may be morbid, but if something should happen to me during surgery, which is always a risk for anyone. I want everyone to know how much you mean to me. I really do not have any regrets. Oh sure there are some things that I am not proud of or wish that didn't happen, but everything I have gone through makes me who I am. Thank you for everything that you have done or said. It really means a lot to me.

I will write about my experience when I get home and am able to sit at the computer. I hope to have some new pictures as they come available to show my progress. I hate my picture taken so this will be a whole new experience. See everyone in about 5 days.

One more week

I have one more week till I have my surgery. I have been doing really good on sticking with the liquid diet. I am not hungry, I have to remind myself to eat what little I can have. But habits are hard to break. I will see something especially at work and think oh that would taste good, but NO I tell myself can't have it. Been very good and have not had anything I am not suppose to.

I went to see the surgical nurse the beginning of the week and got all my instructions before surgery. She also took my picture and measurements so they can keep track. I was also given this device where I am suppose to suck in the air and see how high I can the gauge to go. This will help for after surgery so that I don't get pneumonia. I also don't have to wear that heart monitor anymore. I put it all in the envelope and mail it back tomorrow. Whoo Whoo. Glad to get rid of that.

I am still nervous, not about having this surgery but just having surgery in general. Which is normal I think. I know this next week is going to go by fast. Which is ok with me.

New year, New Sue!!!!