Less than 24hrs to go

Well as I sit here making my list for what I need to remember to take with me to the hospital, it hits me that in less then 24hrs I will have had my surgery. My emotions are all over the place. I am excited, I am scared, I am indifferent, I am wondering if I am crazy for doing this and a hundred more I won't bore anyone with. But I do know that I am doing the right thing. I have tried over the years so many things to lose weight but nothing seems to work, or does work but not for very long. I need to do this so that I can live to see my kids and grandkids grow up. I know its not going to be an easy road for awhile. And of course every commercial on tv these last few days has had food items that I love to eat. Right now I could really go for a big juicy steak, a plate of french fries and a large shake. I won't but doesn't stop me from wanting it. I have been doing very well on my liquid diet these last few weeks. I have not eaten anything I was not suppose to, which tells me that I know I will be able to follow what lies ahead. I know there are going to be good and bad days, but I know in the end it will all be worth it. I have very good support between my family and friends. And I know I am going to need them in the days ahead.

I still can not envision myself as a smaller adult. I won't say skinny because I know that won't be the case. But I will be at a healthy weight for me. I will be able to go into a store and actually buy things right off the rack instead of ordering from a catalog and hoping that they have big enough sizes and that things will fit ok. I have already sort of picked out the first outfit I want when I lose enough weight. I am looking forward to actually wearing capri's, jeans, and maybe even shorts. Who knows what will be in store for me. But I am looking forward to seeing.

I know this may be morbid, but if something should happen to me during surgery, which is always a risk for anyone. I want everyone to know how much you mean to me. I really do not have any regrets. Oh sure there are some things that I am not proud of or wish that didn't happen, but everything I have gone through makes me who I am. Thank you for everything that you have done or said. It really means a lot to me.

I will write about my experience when I get home and am able to sit at the computer. I hope to have some new pictures as they come available to show my progress. I hate my picture taken so this will be a whole new experience. See everyone in about 5 days.